Broken Endings …

Today will end my FREE video offer for votes. I thought it would be a great idea not only to give something back – like the daily photos I was sending out for 21 days this month, but to go even a step further – and give out FREE videos for every daily vote for the final round. After all, I’m active on twitter – and I can see this … you’re lucky if you’re even getting a “thanks” back from the majority of the girls you’re voting for – let alone pics and videos! This is not an easy thing to do. Not only does it require the hour to do my hair and makeup and the time to set up lights and the tripod and the camera, time to actually film it, then pull it from the camera, edit it, render it and save it etc, BUT it also takes time to actually send the videos. Time that I’m just not willing to give after today.

This requires being on twitter – pretty much non-stop on my computer so I can see who has voted, who has followed directions and sent their email address so I can actually send the video, or time to say hey, you need to send a screenshot (that’s not from 4 days ago) or you need to send an email address, or whatever the case may be. Then comes sending the videos. I was happy to send them out yesterday. In total, I sent out 117 videos (which frankly, isn’t worth the extra effort over photos considering it’s only 14 more than I’d been averaging a day by simply DMing a photo – which takes a whole 3 seconds) but whatever. BUT …. for those 117 videos that I sent out yesterday, each one took an average of 3 minutes to send (after fetching said email address) and often took closer to 4 minutes, but for ease of writing this let’s just go with 3 minutes. So 3 minutes each … 117 videos … that means I sat here “waiting” for videos to be sent for 351 minutes yesterday. Doesn’t sound like a terrible amount of time … but that 351 minutes totals 5.85 hours! That is a LOT of time spent – ignoring my family – so I can give something a little extra special – as a thank you for a vote which takes less than 3 seconds to do.

That being said … I know MANY of you, actually more precisely, MOST of you are thankful for the video(s) I’ve sent. I appreciate that. You may not have realized how much of a toll this was taking on me and your simple thank you after receiving it was enough to make it all worthwhile. Then comes today. I’m going through my DM’s and it’s one after another … complaints. I didn’t see your tits in the video – so I’m really disappointed – (UM … Had this particular person bothered to vote yesterday and receive yesterday’s video – he’d have had enough of my tits to last a good month!) Apparently my PUSSY isn’t good enough now? Hey, can you make the video longer? (UM … NO! Be thankful you’re getting a video at all when most girls don’t even bother saying thank you!) Literally … complaints, complaints, complaints. I’m the kind of person who can take a LOT before I snap … and I’ve reached that point.

Thanks to all the completely ungrateful people out there who can’t appreciate a FREE video … that was filmed EXCLUSIVELY for thank you videos that will not be shown ANYWHERE ELSE … I’m ending it here … today. No more free videos for this contest. I apologize to those who truly enjoy them. I’m just having a hard time justifying it after all the comments I’ve read today – most of which I didn’t bother to share here.

My youngest is sick … HOME FROM DAYCARE sick … which means I had to send her off so I could film today’s video – that is receiving criticism. It’s now after 5PM … and I’ve spent ZERO time with her today because I’ve been spending the entire day SENDING said videos … and right now I pretty much hate myself for it. I had an obligation to you to send them – because I said I would. I also have an obligation to my child … to be able to get off the computer and play with her or read to her or whatever it is she wants me to do with her but if I do … I’ll never have enough time to even get them all sent today. So who is paying the price? It’s not the person complaining about the FREE video, I can tell you that!

Sorry to sound like a bitch, but I’ve reached a point today where I can not and I will not tolerate anyone being ungrateful to me – when I’m giving up so much of myself – and taking so much of myself away from what matters most to me – my family – just for this contest – that in the end, I probably have NO CHANCE of winning. So for the remainder of the contest, vote for me, don’t vote for me, I’m tired of stressing over it. $2,000 isn’t worth the sleep I’ve lost in the past week. It’s not worth the time I’ve spent away from my family. It’s not worth criticism from behind a computer. It’s just not worth it, period. I could have spent 5.85 hours yesterday and whatever ridiculous amount of time I’ve already spent today on this filming new scenes – which over time would have garnered the same – if not more … my mind is broken. My spirit is broken and for my daughter my heart is broken … so I’m signing off to go cook dinner … and spend time with my family.

If you want me to win, you should vote for me. If you don’t, then don’t. I shouldn’t have to bribe anyone with anything to win a contest. You’re either a fan who supports me or not.

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One thought on “Broken Endings …

  1. Ok, I’m going to repeat myself. (Like that’s new)

    I commented on a post you made over the weekend and said that the pics (and now videos) were a nice perk, but not the reason I was voting for you. That still stands. I think you are a pretty cool person… you’ve never come off sounding elitist or snotty, you sound like a warm hearted woman that wants to do right by her fans.

    Unfortunately, some “fans” are rude, demanding and downright fucked up. I’m sorry you had to put up with so much crap over this. You have every right to feel as angry as you want to over that. So if this is indeed the end of the perks, then so be it. I got my fair share of pics and my video and I’m happy and thankful for that. As you said, it’s already waaaay more than I would have gotten from most anyone else.

    So thank you for doing what you’ve done. I already cast my vote for today, after I read your blog post. However many more chances I have to vote is how many more votes you’re going to get from me. 🙂

    I hope the kiddo gets well soon.

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